Sit-u-Asians

Picture above taken from Twitter.

Personally I did not like to involve myself in politics or anything as such, but today the rally made me aware of everything that happened, is happening and might or will happen. Though I did not really take part of the event, I took the whole day monitoring the detailed news and updates of the rallying members and decided to compile a list of my opinions on the day itself.

Details I find to be wrong on 9th July 2011:

Police and FRU During Peaceful Rally

Police are meant to protect us the people or rakyat from harm. This is a universal understanding as long as the people are not doing anything wrong, harmful and such. To call marching, protesting or voicing out our opinions - illegal; is as good as disallowing anyone to vote for an election itself. Particularly if it doesn't harm anyone else.

Seeing the many pictures tweeted out; I can't help to not understand why are there road blocks, barb wires, helicopters, barricades and such when all the rally members are just trying to gathering in peace. The road blocks make no sense at all to me as many of us know that traffic conditions alone are hard to manage. (thanks to non-improving transport capabilities)

My logical sense says to me that the police are trying to delay the people from joining in the rally, blocking them from the rally, arresting any Bersih related (as it seems to be illegal), or perhaps they are there to simply ensure we are not gonna be a threat to national security. In this case, I'm not so sure why indeed are the police out to stop us. It's not like we are trying to burn a place down, or immediately going against the government. Clearly Bersih is asking for a simple request/demand. We want a clean election.

Government Insisting Nothing Wrong With System

This is wrong in so many levels. In an interview - AlJazeera 101 East found in YouTube regarding the first Bersih rally, the government insists that there is nothing wrong with the system. They only claim that there are ways to improve them. I certainly have no idea why Bersih's request/demand are still pending for so long since 2007 (video uploaded then).

Video references:

Let's explore one of the reasons of Bersih rally based on MalaysiaKini's latest upload:

Ops kesan 'pengundi hantu' melalui Facebook

There were voters of ages 100+ (possibly deceased by now), 88 votes from one house, and even some from non-existant addresses. How is this fair?

The first national elections in 1955 under the British Colonial Government had a campaign period of 42 days but the campaign period for 12th GE in 2008 was a mere 8 days.

8 days shouldn't be enough for the whole Malaysia to vote, isn't it?

Take a look at the Bersih's website for more details.

Police Brutality

This is an obvious problem. We see a lot of police, even more than we ever imagined today gathering to block the rally members. It's obvious who controls the police. Problems like this would hurt the nation as a whole when bribery and corruption gets involved.

For this part, the simple videos below explains enough to explain the violence from the police:

MalaysiaKini - Pudu afternoon violence

The above video shows how the police are shooting gas canisters like the photographers are documenting it, rally members are tied up, and how aggressive the police are in tying the hands together. (I get it if they struggle, but they don't seem to)

MalaysiaKini - Police beating

The above video shows how the police (in plain clothes) were caught beating a protester on the ground in Jalan Tuanku Abdul Rahman.

Police action brutal - opposition leader

These videos are graphic and represent the kind of treatment it seems to appear when we go against the government in any way.

Use of Tear Gasses, Chemical-Laced Water Cannons, Canes, Baton, Barb Wires, Helicopters.

These above are as close as you get to weapons. They may be a little more rough/aggressive then just voice and push, and less dangerous than guns, bombs, tanks; but they pretty much does the same damage. There are video evidence on Twitter that shows how helicopters are used to drop gas canisters from above.

Gas canisters may be as close as trying to disperse people away, or temporary blinding them, yet it does knock a person down. Anwar Ibrahim and his bodyguard were injured pretty bad - pictures at FreeMalaysiaToday.com.

In fact, Twitter members found that there is one person deceased from it. Just Google "#bersihstories RIP" and you may find "RIP Baharuddin Ahmad, a victim of tear gas in Bersih rally. Murderer: FRU Malaysia." Anwar Ibrahim blogs about it on his blog. (Video on the situation in there as well.)

There is also a good blog post (and his picture) on the death of this individual. Apparently he was having a seisure, and the police did not help give a blade to cut his hand loose; or even help get an ambulance at all. The point is, the police stopped us; but they didn't helped at all.

I'm not surprised if there are many that got pretty injured. I'm pretty concerned of those that got arrested, how are they doing and if they are released yet. After all, we saw the videos as above.

Tung Shin Hospital Disturbed

For God's sake, it's a Hospital!! Can we consider Mosques, Temples, Clinics, Hospitals to be sacred areas where the injured gets their treatment? Even the police, or anyone else. I mean, to be "trapping" them in a hospital.. then pursuing them into the hospital to arrest them? That is rather extreme. It almost feels like those running from the cops are vigalantes who did some incredible violent crimes. Where do we set a boundaries to police and thier juristiction of power?

Gas canisters and Water Cannons were shot into the Tung Shin hospital - a lot of Twitter members reports that they were there and there are photos to prove it. How do we live knowing these extremes are possible?

Arrest of Key Individuals of the Rally

I guess these are expected, yet we know these are important people who lead the pack. Did the police expect that if they capture the leaders, the crowd will disperse easily? I find that these action of arrest seems to only be done out of possible fear of changes to the country. For the many rally members who support these individuals, I'm sure they would protect them and want to ensure they are safe.

Regardless, I'm sure there are planted seeds in the soil. There should be a spy or mole that's being planted into the rally to cause issues and misunderstandings. That way, there shall be an easy excuse for arresting that someone that caused any issues as a repurcussion. I don't see how this makes sense sometimes. Everyone knows, why lie?

Media Government Controlled

It's been obvious. We're not believing the local media much these days. With the emergence of the Internet and Social Networks, we have faster access to every details every minute. The only way to try and change our minds is if the words are rewritten in the government's favour. We see it all the time.

Latest news title involve "PM grateful illegal rally did no serious harm" and so much more. Praising the people who oppose the Bersih rally, and calling the gathering "Illegal" is simply a sense of media rewritten truth. Won't everything be better when media always control the minds of the public? This is an issue and that is exactly what Bersih is all about.

Elections Vulnerable to Manipulation

As above, this is a huge issue to us Malaysians. If we have no control over the elections and voting rights; we might as well do nothing and see our country change and the public be unhappy with our lives in the country. This is a serious issue when there are fraudulent votes.

Similiar to playing a game; if we have no power to control the game, we will all surely lose. If we can't trust our own government, how do we live in Malaysia?

Inconsistent News Reports and Details

Bersih were given a stadium to do peaceful rallying by the PM, then there were news that some ministers oppose the idea stating that Bersih did not get a permit. Then, Bersih submitted a permit and was given a good news that it is approved. Then later on founding out that the permit was not approved. What is going on? This seems like a bunch of individuals in the government not in sync and agreement. Maybe there's strategies or some sort.

Again, as above, the media is controlled by the government. How do we even trust our information and where do we find our truth? Are altered news considered lies? Reports on the rally itself seem like just a stroll in the park whereas for some rally members, it felt a little like war.

Bersih 2.0 as Opposition

This is where most people misunderstand. Bersih is a coalition of general public that wants to have the fair use of election power. They are not oppositions. Looking at the media these days, as it was stated that this rally is illegal; it makes the whole group (Bersih) looked "Kotor" instead.

The functional truth is, they are not opposing the government. They are general public wanting to demand (since request did not work) for a fair election. If there are no action taken, then this group will continue on. Registering as a group might as well call themselves opposition.

The awful truth is, each and every action and effort may seem like Bersih making trouble for the government; when really is a cry/request/demand to ensure Malaysia is a comfortable country to live in for our future and our children's future.

More detailed photographs, visit AlJazeera.com.

More detailed information, visit Wikipedia.com.

I had many arguments in my relationships. I figured, I need to seek some good articles to help guide my mentality and understanding.

Picture from photostock via freedigitalphotos.net

Unsettled problems are a major source of stress, stress that can not only undermine your relationship, but your diabetes management as well. Research has shown that successful relationships are not those that necessarily have fewer problems, but those that have found effective means of solving the problems that come up.

Clearly problems need to be solved to move on, but how?

Step 1: Define your problem and solution.

Take time to clearly define what bothers you the most. Figure out how you feel and why. Anger is a common reaction, but try and go one further step and ask yourself what is it that worries you or hurts your feelings. Many psychologists consider anger a reaction to other emotions lying beneath.

But problem-solving is more than just an airing of complaints. Next you need to be clear about what you would like to be different in positive, concrete and specific terms.

Step 2: Plan a time to talk.

Okay, you've done your prep and are clear the problem and your solution. Now pick a good time to talk - not when your partner just walks in the door after work, not after you've both have had a couple of cocktails on a Friday night and are tired, not 10-minutes before you have to pick your daughter from soccer - but a time when you both are likely to be calm, relaxed and able to listen.

Clearly sometimes emotions take control and we don't notice how important time to talk really is.

Step 3: Talking and Listening.

Okay, take a deep breath. Start by talking about your view of the problem, your worry, your solution. Use "I" statements - I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells when I'm around you, I think that it would be wonderful if you could do more together - rather than "you" statements - you never say anything positive, you always seem angry. Talking about yourself helps keep your partner from feeling attacked or blamed, and getting defensive and angry in return.

Managing a conversation is a bit like driving a car. You want to keep in mind where you are going and stay on the road. You steer the conversation, just as you do when driving, by making subtle adjustments as you go along.

Strong emotions stir defensiveness in the other, and undermine the problem-solving process. If your partner does start to get angry or defensive - What about you.. Last week you did...- get quiet. While you're probably tempted to defend yourself, doing so at this point is like throwing gasoline on fire. Your goal is to put out the emotional fire in the room and you do that by simply listening. If you don't fuel the fire with more words, your partner will eventually calm down.

I had thought that if she gets quiet, she's ignoring the situation..

If, however, it seems that both of you are getting worked up, that emotions are getting too high, if the conversation is beginning to feel like a power struggle with one of you needing to win or get the last word, it's important to stop before the situation gets out of hand.

Be clear it is a time-out and that you want to talk again.

The goal is hear each other out.

Step 4: Decide on a Plan.

If you are both in agreement about the problem, it's time to agree on plan of action. Again make it as specific as possible and time-limited, and try to address each of your worries and preferences.

A "let's try it" attitude is better than obsessing over the ultimate solution.

I do believe I messed up here.. I always looked for an ultimate solution.

Step 5: Evaluate.

Try out your plan and evaluate.

The evaluation is about honesty and fine-tuning.

Again, keep changes clear and concrete.

Finally, try and give each other feedback about the talking process itself: It helped me to have us write out the plan; what did you think? Did you feel like I was giving you a hard time when we first started talking? Again you are both learning a skill. Knowing what worked and what didn't will make your future efforts at problem-solving more effective and comfortable.

Step 6: Say what you like.

Researchers have found that if you want to create a positive and supportive environment for your relationships you need to give each other 4 times more positive comments than negative ones. What this means is that you can never give each other enough compliments and support: Thanks for talking, I appreciate your trying this out, I'm glad we are doing this together. This support helps you from slipping back into old patterns and encourages you to keep up the new ones.

4 times more positive comments. That's 4:1 ratio for any improvement. Explains why some couples keep silent and it'll take more work to fix it later on.

When you first started learning to drive, you probably felt overwhelmed and awkward and went all over the road at first. Learning to steer your conversations will at first feel much the same. Don't get discouraged. With practice you will get better.

Keep in mind that you really can't make a mistake. If a conversation goes off course, circle back and try it again. Your goal is not to do it right but to do it differently - to plow new emotional ground, to speak as honestly as you can, to be open to compromise. With patience and persistence and pats on your own back, you'll be able to put your relationship problems to rest.